Divorced from reality

So, I created the title of this blog awhile ago and have yet to write on it partially because I forgot what I even dreamed about. But with a webpage history search I found the page that I was looking for and the essence of the dream came back to me. Drugs. My dream was about a drug that I had created. What the drug was for or why I even made it I can only imagine. It could have been because I watched a movie the night before and a character was influenced by some drugs. My sub-conscious mind decided that this was something that I needed to dream about. I looked up a google search and what I found through a majority of the searches is that when you dream about drugs you are trying to divorce and delude yourself from reality. Now I know whenever we look at these kinds of things such as dream interpretations, horoscopes etc... we always seem to try and find some truth to it and I say why not. It brings up things that we perhaps have thought about or brings about a different perspective. In my case I did feel like I was trying to take a break from where I am and in actuality that this is how most peace corps volunteers feel at least one time in their service. Perhaps it had come about more so now because of the holiday season also because I have finally come to terms that my host family will always see me as a foreigner no matter how much I try to integrate. Someone not from their world. Is that too extreme to say? Not from this world? Yet, I am not too far from their way of being. Both sides of my family are from third world countries and even though I was sheltered by the way that they lived for most of my life does not mean that I won't ever encounter it. Being here in Senegal has in a way allowed me to understand my families past and present without the emotional connection. Along the way my actual families have also helped me see how hard working we can be when given the right opportunities. What else is making me have such a disconnect? Perhaps it is the constant harassment everywhere I go or the lack of appreciation of your very existence. Sometimes the a way to take a handle on these moments are to take a step back and hide for a while. This doesn't mean hide from the world forever but it's like doing ardha kurmasana in yoga, coming back to a comfortable pose and staying there until you feel energized to come back out of it. Think things through and perhaps you will find something out that you didn't realize before. I know that all this may sound vague but when it comes down to it and it happens it will be so much more lucid.